Saturday, October 31, 2009
6 Bullshit Facts About Psychology That Everyone Believes
Psychology is one of those subjects that everybody likes to think they know something about. We love to go around diagnosing our friends and co-workers, both to make sense of the world and to make ourselves feel like we're smarter than they are.
But like any science that makes its way into the pop culture, a lot of the "common sense" statements we hear every day are so wrong that they border on raving idiocy. Such as...
"If You Let Your Anger Out, You'll Feel Better!"
You always hear people talk about how "cathartic" an experience was and how much better they feel, or you'll hear them say things like, "If you keep your anger bottled up, one day you'll just snap!"
In fact the "about to go crazy because he can't express anger" character is a mainstay in television and movies (see that Simpsons episode where Ned Flanders finally loses it, and every movie where a renegade cop fires his gun into the air instead of unloading on the bad guy who just killed his wife).
Things like squeezing stress dolls, screaming into a pillow, hitting a punching bag and strangling a kitten are all practices that we've seen offered as healthy alternatives to walking up to the fish counter at Farm Fresh and drowning the clerk in the lobster tank.
A lot of actual therapies have been constructed around this idea, and they all basically encourage you to curb your anger by feeding a knuckle sandwich to a punching bag, to prevent you from doing the same to your boss. It makes sense, right? Why throw your wife against the refrigerator when the casserole she under-cooked will shatter to pieces in a much more literal, and satisfying way?
Why it is Bullshit:
Research says it doesn't work. Expressing your anger, even against inanimate objects, doesn't make you less angry at all. In fact, it actually makes you want to get pissed off. Imagine if Bruce Banner walked around all day looking for an excuse to hulk-out, but replace the embarrassing shredded pants with friends and loved ones who are legitimately terrified every time his favorite sports team loses.
See, we humans have these things called "habits." When we do something, and it makes us feel good, we want to do it again... and more often. This is why you don't see a lot of Buddhist monks throwing bricks through storefront windows on their path to enlightenment and Lifetime original movies spend more on broken casserole dishes than on acting. The rush of anger is addictive as hell, and letting yourself lash out as a means to control your anger is like drinking to control your urge to drink.
And that's bad news, considering there are lots of situations where you don't have an inanimate object to take it out on. If a person gets entrenched in the habit of beating the living shit out of an inanimate object every time they get upset, heads are going to roll if they can't excuse themselves from a meeting to go chokeslam the tank on the break room water cooler.
"Just Believe in Yourself, and You'll Succeed!"
The "self-esteem" thing has been hammered into our brains for decades, based on the belief that high self-esteem types achieve more in school, make and keep more friends and, in general, function better as a member of society.
Pretty much every single high school movie is a huge proponent of this theory. The fat, dumpy pariah, tired of years of depressing abuse, digs deep down and discovers his/her own self-worth in time for the big dance/game/senior trip. Then the entire student body takes notice of this radical change and raises this loser up to the most popular kid in school (roll credits to a Green Day song).
Numerous training programs and self-help books take this idea and run with it; promising that building self-esteem is the key to overcoming obstacles and failure. Even elementary schools jumped on board and started giving self-esteem classes to kids, because as all Americans know, the key to happiness is constant rewards for little to no actual accomplishments.
Why it is Bullshit:
This seems to be one of those deals where they've confused correlation and causation. Rather than thinking, "Maybe kids with high self-esteem feel good about themselves because they get good grades in school and have lots of friends," they decided that it's the other way around, that they succeed because they have self-esteem. So they tried to teach people to feel good about themselves for no other reason than pure entitlement, figuring the actual reasons for feeling good about themselves would follow at some later date.
This results in some kids having too much self-esteem, a breed of human that scientists classify as "douchebag."
We're not kidding. Research shows kids who have an inflated sense of self-worth become aggressive when their sense of superiority is called into question, leading to a more damaging fall for little Billy when he realizes what a loser he is (whereas fat Ralph already knew himself to be a loser and is therefore immune to disappointment).
We're certainly not experts, but it would, you know, seem like the solution would be to teach the stuff that leads to success (like social and communication skills, better strategies at dealing with stress, etc.) and just let that lead naturally to success and thus self-esteem, rather than just bypassing all that and going right for the self-esteem part.
Mr. Miyagi didn't teach the Karate Kid to believe in himself. He taught him how to kick people in the fucking head.
"Cult Members are Stupid, Gullible Sheep!"
You will find almost universal agreement that anyone who participates in a cult (or, organized religion of any kind) is either weak, retarded or some kind of weaktarded combination of the two. We tend to associate cults with fanaticism, assuming that they are all made up of people that wear bed sheets and live in backwoods communes pissing in Dixie cups. Thanks to high profile, apocalyptic and/or suicide cults like the Branch Davidians and Heaven's Gate, we don't have much reason to think otherwise.
Why it is Bullshit:
Studies show cult members are just as intelligent, if not more so, than the general public. And around 95 percent of cult members are perfectly sane (when they join up, anyway), with no history at all of real psychological problems. They're not stupid, and they're not crazy.
Of course this only serves to make cults even scarier. How in the hell do these groups get people--who are every bit as sane and smart as your best friend--to join up?
OK, ask yourself this: Why do rebellious biker types all immediately go out and start dressing and talking exactly like other biker types?
Posted by pala hanmi reddy at 4:21 PM
Friday, October 30, 2009
Michael Jordan quotations
"The game is my wife. It demands loyalty and responsibility, and it gives me back fulfillment and peace."
"My body could stand the crutches but my mind couldn’t stand the sideline."
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen."
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
"The game is my life. It demands loyalty and responsibility, and it gives me back fulfillment and peace. "
"Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships. "
"My heroes are and were my parents. I can't see having anyone else as my heroes."
"My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength. "
"I've never been afraid to fail."
"I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. And I will not let anything get in the way of me and my competitive enthusiasm to win."
"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."
"Even when I'm old and grey, I won't be able to play it, but I'll still love the game. "
"I've always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don't do things half-heartedly. Because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results."
"Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation. "
"I realized that if I was going to achieve anything in life I had to be aggressive. I had to get out there and go for it... I know fear is an obstacle for some people, but it's an illusion to me. "
"If it turns out that my best wasn't good enough, at least I won't look back and say that I was afraid to try; failure makes me work even harder. "
"I've failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. "
"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game."
"I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result."
"If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it."
"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."
“The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge”
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
30 Sites Every Freelancer Should Visit and Utilize
Useful Blogs For Freelancers
FreelanceFolder – Jon C. Phillips, an amazing web designer is the founder of Freelancer Folder. It was later bought by Mason Hipp who is the current owner. Under Mason’s watch freelance folder has grown to be one of the top blogs in this particular niche. With 13,000 plus subscribers, Freelance Folder is definitely a blog you want to add to your feed reader (most of you already have –)
FreelanceSwitch — Freelance Switch is a part of the envato network. If you are looking for advice on freelancing, this is one blog that you want to add to your feed reader as soon as possible.
Freelance-Zone – Freelance-Zone has been around since 2002 serving the needs of freelancers. A site that has survived until now is certainly worth freelancer’s attention.
43Folders — This blog has been around since 2004. Merlin Mann, the owner and writer talks about finding time and ways to do your best creative work. This is certainly one of the best blogs a freelancer can subscribe to.
WakeUpLater — The joy of freelancing is working when you want, where you want. Wake Up Later will help you gain some insight in that field. You can find freelancing advice, free stuff for freelancers and other tips and tricks.
Problogger – Everyone that is active in the blogosphere knows Darren Rowse. One of the first person who became a full time blogger, inspiring many others. If you are looking for some advice on how to become a full time blogger or an effective freelancer, Problogger offers some of the best tips that are out there.
SmashingMagazine – If you are pursuing your freelance career in designing, Smashing Magazine is your source for inspiration and ideas. This blog features designs and lists that are simply too amazing to be ignored. If you are a designer and have yet to check this blog out, trust me, you are missing on something really good.
TheSimpleDollar – Sure, it’s a finance blog. But thesimpledollar shares some of the tips that applies to us not just as individuals but as freelancers as well. Get your finances on track and subscribe to thesimpledollar.
Noupe – One of the fastest growing blogs and very popular among designers, Noupe offers insight and articles that cater to designers and web-developers.
MenWithPens – One of the best blogs for writers and freelancers. Men With Pens ranks no.2 among best blogs for writers. If you are a writer and plan on boosting your freelancing career in writing, these men have got all the advice that will help you become a top writer and an effective freelancer.
Forums For Freelancers
TalkFreelance – One of the popular forums among freelancers that has many segments allowing freelancers to discuss different aspects of freelancing.
FreelanceLounge – Another useful forum for freelancers to discuss freelancing topics and participate in discussions related to their field.
Freelance UK Forum – Pretty popular forum. Although this is a UK forum, since most freelance work happens over the web, location doesn’t really matter. This forum has topics on a wide variety of freelance topics. Go ahead and participate.
eLanceTalk – A forum for freelancers that is mostly dedicated to design, SEO and hosting along with other freelancing topics.
FreelanceSwitch Forum – A very popular forum among designers and web developers but also caters to other freelancing topics. This forum as you can imagine is a part of FreelanceSwitch.
FreelanceFolder Forum – A forum mostly utilized by the FreelanceFolder community. It’s simple, basic and has only 3 topics related to freelancing which I think covers almost everything.
FreelanceWriting Forum — Part of Freelancewriting and mostly focuses on the writers community and topics related to freelance writers.
WhyDoWork – A very popular forum with over 38,000 members. The forum is basically for people who work from home and most freelancers do just that. A great resource and community to be a part of.
LogoPond – A very active forum that mainly focuses on designers.
WritersForum – If you are a writer and want to get into freelancing, this forum will certainly cater to your need for discussion and answers to any questions you might have.
Job Boards For Freelancers
Guru – One of the world’s largest online marketplace for freelance talent.
Elance – Outsourcing to freelancers.
GetAFreelancer – For freelance programmers and designers.
AllFreelanceWork – Jobs for freelancers and contract workers.
iFreelance – Find or post freelance jobs.
Sologig – Get connected with freelance, consulting, and contract jobs.
NoAgenciesPlease – A fee free direct recruitment service for new media freelancers.
GoFreelance – This site provides you with thousands of freelance gigs to choose from.
FreelanceJobSearch – The name says it all, a place for you to search freelance jobs.
GetaCoder – A freelance job site for programmers, coder, web developers, etc.
Posted by pala hanmi reddy at 1:51 PM
Monday, October 26, 2009
Katie's topless in Tenerife
You're the breast girlfriend ever ... Danny with Kelly
Contact sport ... Danny grabs girlfriend Kelly's boob
MISCHA BARTON nude
MISCHA BARTON has celebrated her new-found confidence in her body by stripping naked for Cosmopolitan magazine
Tilak & Sanjana in Ganda Hendathi
HOT and SPICY kiss Sushmita Sen & Randeep Hooda in Karma Aur Holi
Padma Priya spicy pics
hot Adriana Lima
Victoria’s Secret model
sexy Sania Mirza
Sania Mirza hot, sexy, spicy, erotic, oozing, oomph
A man sits on bus with an advert for a clothes store in Ljubljana March 2, 2009
Sri Lanka Cricket Team Attacked; Five Police Killed in Pakistan (bloomberg)
Lok Sabha polls in 5 phases between April 16-May 13 (Economic Times)
Dates announced for India polls (bbc)
Broadcasting pioneer Paul Harvey dies at age of 90 (ap)
What is a vote-on-account?
Jon Favreau the 27-year-old Favreau credited with inventing the 'Yes We Can' slogan that became Mr Obama's rhetorical trademark
Posted by pala hanmi reddy at 2:53 PM