Overcoming job-hunting rejection

"Make the most of the best and the least of the worst." - Robert Louis Stevenson

Overcoming job-hunting rejection
Having to look for a job wasn't supposed to happen to you.

You were nearing your company's inner circle. You had studied and sacrificed, met the right people, and made your mark. You were climbing the ladder; you had control. Business was booming; everyone was prospering; the potential was limitless.

And then the bubble burst...


Anger Starts Welling Up

The call came before lunch. And you packed your box and made your farewells. You were stunned how it all collapsed so fast. Still, you had a severance package. A short break might be healthy, you reasoned. "With my track record, I'll land on my feet," you reassured yourself.

At first, you shrugged off the calls that weren't returned, the interviews that led nowhere. But now you're months into a job search. You're feeling pressured by everyone's questions. Your unemployment is drying up...and health insurance is bleeding you. The anger you managed to suppress for so long is welling up too. 'Don't they know what I've done, what I'm capable of? Why can't I find a job?'

The irony is, when things were going well, you lamented that you had "no time." Now, time is all you have. Like a lovesick teen, you fret over when to call employers back. It seems like you're overqualified for everything. Your mind flashes to images of living in cardboard houses...or peddling insurance to your friends. And you wonder if you're too old to start a business (if you could even get a loan).


Headlines Make Things Worse

A job hunt is never fun. And the longer it goes on, the more stressful it becomes. The daily headlines about unemployment and the dismal news about the economy make it worse. You know there are more people chasing fewer good jobs. You wonder when—if—your prospects will start looking up.

The rejection can get really personal too. Putting so much into your job is part of what made you successful. And our jobs are often the outlet for our creativity, the place where we believe we make a difference. Culturally, our jobs are our identities. With each rejection, we lose a little more dignity. We're left with nagging doubts about ourselves, that time has passed us by, that we've already peaked.


Getting Over Rejection

You’re living with all the emotions: fear, loneliness, humiliation, and bitterness. Most days, you feel adrift, with the walls closing in. You’re not alone: millions are enduring the same rejections you are. If you want that next “no” to get you closer to that first “yes,” consider these strategies:


Ask for Feedback

The next time an opportunity fizzles, try following up with your interviewer. If they call back, ask for two ways you could improve. It could be your body language and delivery are undermining your message. Get feedback from friends. Share your cover letters and resume with peers or sympathetic professionals. Conduct mock interviews. Make your mistakes before they really count.

Create a Plan
Right now, you’re asking, “How did I get here?” You should be asking, “How do I get there?” Mobilize your resources. Identify what you don’t know and where can improve. Build some confidence by getting ahead of the curve. Scout out potential growth sectors, such as education, health care, and employment services. Master the fundamentals they require. It’s a volatile time; be sure you’re ready to capitalize when they inevitably rebound. Re-establish control by setting a course.


Chalk Up a Quick Success

Winning begets winning. The same applies to losing. To regain your momentum, get an accomplishment under your belt. Large or small, use it to infuse some swagger, to propel you passed your next obstacle, to provide comfort when you feel unwanted. Use it as your foundation to achieve something larger, professionally or otherwise.


Be Honest With Yourself

Sometimes, we seek a fit where one truly doesn’t exist. Look at your last turndown. Was the job truly right for you-or were you just desperate to find work? Did the position stir your passion-–or would it eventually prompt a clandestine job hunt? Don’t try to fit the proverbial square peg into a round hole. Long term, you’re better off working where you ultimately feel comfortable.


Calm Down

Interviewers can sense desperation when you walk in the door. But your real danger isn’t being unemployed. It's what you project into it—your fears, past disappointments, and baggage—that make it so traumatic. Your old life is temporarily gone; your underlying insecurities are being exposed. Work may give you status, income, or a feeling of self-worth, but don’t allow joblessness to play on your insecurities. It shows.


Tune Out the Negative

The news is pretty much gloom-and-doom 24 hours a day. Bankruptcies and interventions. Job cuts and red ink. Living on borrowed time (and money). We’re a nation that has lost its confidence, if not its way. Sadly, the pundits are only reinforcing our worries. So ignore the media’s self-serving analysis and rants. They’re only diverting your focus; they’re not helping you find a job.


Accept Your Mistakes

An abundance of time, coupled with successive defeats, lends itself to introspection. Unfortunately, we can start dissecting everything, particularly our life and career choices. Sure, you took a few wrong turns. And you probably wish you’d learned Arabic or Chinese about now. But you can’t dwell. Let it go and move on. Don’t create future regrets by not taking advantage of the present.


Take it Personally

Yes, you should take rejection real personally. It should leave you defiant. The doubters should drive you to work harder to “show them.” Your setbacks should harden your resolve to beat the odds. Failure is the ultimate wake up call. It can fuel a pain and hunger that eventually produces greatness.


Avoid Complacency

It’s easy to develop bad habits when you’re out of work. Unfortunately, your undisciplined ways eventually get the better of you. To stay at your best, get to bed on time. Rise early. Turn off the television. Get out of the sweats and old shirts...even if you’re staying home.
Live in the Here and Now
You know a job hunt can take months, which means you could be in this professional limbo for a while. You’re anticipating the day you can start work again—and anxious about when that will be. Don’t let all the focus on the future rob you of today. You may feel dispirited, but think about all the good things you have right now: loved ones, health, intelligence, and imagination. They’re what define you, not this temporary setback.


Find a New Challenge

You’re not having any luck finding a job. Why not focus on something you can control? Look for a new challenge and focus your energies there. Train for that marathon. Finish that screenplay. Prove to yourself that you can do it. You might find a way to channel that passion into a new career...or carry your success over somewhere else.


Stay in Motion

As teenagers, our world seemingly collapsed after a setback. Remember our parents’ advice? ‘Get back out there.’ It’s no different now. Quit hibernating. Get out and volunteer. Consult. Shadow someone to build your skills. Knock on doors. Network. Find something bigger than yourself. Bottom line: Become visible. You never know who might be watching.


Toughen Up

By now, you’re probably pretty jaded. You may even feel like you’ve bottomed out. Reality check: You will eventually find work. Right now, the waiting and the snubs are hard to swallow. Job hunting is a grueling process. That’s why you’ll have to toughen up. Establish a path. Learn about yourself. Hard as it is now, you’ll be better off for it.


Don’t Deny Reality

You’re feeling ashamed, maybe even betrayed. There’s no denying that you don’t deserve this. But you have to accept it. Smile. Laugh. Maintain your poise, even when the rejection and worry are tearing you up inside. Actively seek out sources of consolation: loved ones, prayer, self-help books, whatever works for you.


Look for the Silver Lining

Imagine you’d been hired right after your dismissal. Would you have learned anything? This is your chance to scrub away the complacency, dilute those built up frustrations and dump the habits holding you back. You’re taking the financial and emotional hit now. Right now, you are stuck in the moment; you can’t see how you’ll emerge stronger from this...but you will.


Seek Support

Feeling helpless? Inadequate? Maybe it’s time to reconnect. Beef up your Facebook and LinkedIn pages. Get around those people who accept you and recognize your value. Being alone, paralyzed from the fear and rejection, only feeds your demons. Find a support network to provide a sense of belonging and security. Even more, reach out and comfort those working though the same issues as your own.


Adapt Your Expectations

We all have to make compromises along the way. This may be the time for you to do that. Perhaps you should lower your sights...for the time being. As the rejection letters pile up, consider looking at positions with a lower salary, in a different industry or locale, or even a lesser role. Bottom line: get your foot in the door. With your abilities, the rest will take care of itself.
Have Some Perspective
In the Holmes and Rahe Stress scale, job loss is ranked No. 8. Factor in changes to finances and personal habits, and it ranks even higher. And the rejection isn’t helping. No question, this will probably be a defining moment for you. Look back at the profound personal and professional challenges you may have already faced—previous defining moments. You’ve survived them. You’ll get through this too.


Find Your Identity

Your net worth is taking a dive. And your self-worth is following suit with each rejection. Too often, our work gives us purpose and direction. In reality, we’re the ones who enrich the job; it doesn’t define us. Your technical skills can you get an interview. But your intangibles – attitude, work ethic, people skills, leadership and pride – will earn you the job. Consciously work towards becoming the person you should be.


Realize Maybe It’s Not You

They chose someone else. Don’t assume the hiring process involved a level playing field, thorough analysis, competent evaluators or valid criteria. Sometimes, you just won’t get a fair shot...and that isn’t a reflection on you. It’s an indictment of them.

source: Economic Times

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